As I was growing up, there was somethings that was considered manly and acceptable for me to do, like:
1. Watching Football on a Sunday Afternoon
2. Burping and Breaking Wind
3. Whistling on making a comment out loud about a beautiful woman
4. Working on Cars
5. Fixing things around the house
6. Mowing the lawn
7. Lifting weights and working out
8. Not doing housework and helping around the home
9. Being a "playa' and having girls on the side
10. Joining in the locker room talk about girls
And I haven't even began to scratch the surface. The list goes on and on. On the contrary, there were things a boy or man could do, when I was growing up, that would consider him a wimp;
1. Walking away from a fight.
3. Be sensitive in any way
4. Wearing pink
5. Playing with dolls
6. Changing diapers
7. Washing clothes
8. Washing the dishes
9. Acting a little more femine the rest of the guys
10. Helping in the parenting of your child
The above lists were only examples that I seen or was taught by society through interactions with television. The things I would see on t.v. growing up would send out false norms of how things were suppose to be in an American family, whether they were right or wrong, culturally sensitive or not. I would also hear and see things through examples in my own life. Sometimes my father would walk out these examples and other times I would observe the interactions from other males I interacted with at church, at the store, and at my friends houses. Speaking of friends, these were another place of "wrong"learning about manhood took places. Based off there upbringing and television watching, my friends would tell me what manhood and fatherhood was supposed to be like.
The way I see it, the tide is beginning to turn when it comes to viewing fatherhood in a positive light. I mean don't get me wrong, we still have many homes with absent fathers, and we still hear stories about "dead beat dads" not paying child support, but there has definitely been a shift in our society towards fatherhood. Involved and connected fathering is on a move to becoming normalized. There has always been involved fathers in the lives of the families, but it was always celebrated or displayed through the media.
Being macho meant being cool and tough. Being macho was the popular thing to do. The popularity of the macho icons growing up left us thinking that was how manhood and fatherhood was supposed to be. If we did not have a strong father figure in our lives to teach and show us a difference, many boys grew to be men with this thinking.
It's time to bring the Macho back to fatherhood. Loving your children is macho. Saying I love you to your wife and children is macho. Changing diapers is macho. Helping with rearing of your children is macho. Co-parenting with your child's mother is macho. Treating women with respect is macho. Talking about those tough and embarrassing topics with your children is macho. Being present and not chasing after every thing in a skirt is macho.
It's time we take the "machismo" out of fatherhood and bring the macho back. In time Black, Latino, White, Asians, and cultures around the United States begin to stand up for fatherhood. No longer is a dad spending the day with his young child a babysitter. Parenting is not babysitter. Fatherhood is the new In thing again. Will you help me on this journey?
D. David Bryant is a devoted husband, father, and entrepreneur. He is a noted fatherhood advocate and keynote speaker who has traveled the nation encouraging fathers and families. He is the author of the book, "And David Danced With All His Might" and creator of an original character named Bozo the H.O.Z.O. the Christian Clown. David is very charismatic and engaging. He has a way of breaking down topics that make sense to the audience he is speaking to whether it is a group of elementary students or a group of incarcerated fathers. To be added to our mailing list to receive more content from D. David Bryant click here (https://ddavidbryant.wufoo.com/forms/z1ckf76t0vovhbx). Find out more information about David at www.bryant-enterprises.com and www.bozothehozo.com.